Leaving her home town of Znngreeer on the western island of Thrffer on the Planet Gningbrrrnyr (Quadrant FYT665-Sector 522-777) was the biggest challenge faced by a young Sarah Maree.
“It was a very difficult decision to make, but I just knew to I had to make the 10,000,987,674,234,012,455,643,736,132,926,244,555km journey by myself. It was a real eye opener, and it helped me grow into the Gningbrrrnyronian I am today.”
As the youngest of 17 sisters and a half dozen Gningbrrrnyr leeches, Sarah Maree found it difficult to get noticed, “I always felt like I was competing for my mothers love with my 17 sisters and 6 leeches, and it was a kind of competition, but in the end I knew my mother loved me almost as much as my 17 sisters, and most of the time I was at least the 13th most loved. I knew I’d never be last, mum hated my brother Yhhhrge, but then so did everyone else.” But Sarah Maree found a way to cement herself into the top 10 most loved, “I figured out that if I started breaking bones, and needing to spend time in plaster, my mother spoke to me more… I mean, it’s hard not to stick out when your whole head is in a cast!”
Even as a youngling, Sarah Maree knew she wanted to play the Central Coast’s biggest hits non-stop, “every Gningbrrrnyronian dreams of moving to the Central Coast and working for SeaFM, but apart from the tyranny of distance, the language is the main reason why so many Gningbrrrnyronian’s feel they would never be accepted. Because, you know, as there are only 7 words in the Gningbrrrnyronian language, coming to the realisation that there are words like ‘please, thank-you and Presbyterian’ becomes a real stumbling block.”
But the 10,000,987,674,234,012,455,643,736,132,926,244,555km journey left Sarah Maree plenty of time to eat nachos, talk on the phone and learn English. “I remember the first English sentence that I ever learnt, ‘The Central Coasts Number 1 Hit Music Station’… [laughs] Oh my God, that was such a long time ago!”
Once she landed on the Central Coast and shed a number of layers of skin, Sarah Maree was elated to be employed by 101.3 SeaFM. “All I had to do was break my arm, and the General Manager felt so sorry for me, [he was] putty in my hands. I named my price and conditions, and they even let me pick the music that the station plays.”
But even though she was able to fulfil a childhood dream, does she miss home? “Sometimes, I sit in the studio and wonder what everyone is doing back on Gningbrrrnyr, but I know that if I ever miss the musty methane laden Gningbrrrnyrian atmosphere, all I need to do is share the studio with Paddy.”